Happy Mother's Day- The end of my journey

This past Sunday was Mother's Day and it was an especially special Mother's Day this year as my IM got to celebrate her first one with now 2 week old Adelyn. Sorry it has taken me so long to post our birth story. For the past two weeks my life has been getting back to normal. Not all the way, I am pumping and donating to Preemie Milk Bank so I am kind of tied to my breastpump for now. I don't know how exclusive pumpers get anything done or go anywhere. I feel like I can't leave the house for more than 2 hours because I have to be back here to pump and I certainly can't carry that thing around with me. But it is for a great cause. Because of Adelyn I am able to produce milk and that milk is going to help save the lives of other babies. So one more amazing thing to come out of this surrogacy. Back to the big news, Baby Adelyn is here! She arrived on Sunday April 26th at 7:00am. She weighed 7lbs3oz and was 19 inches long. She had a head full of brown hair (hence all the heartburn I had). She is doing well and is very happy in her home with her mom and dad and her two doggie brothers. It all started at 3:00am. I was asleep in bed and woke suddenly to a gush of water. I somehow jumped out of bed completely alert and made it to the bathroom before the huge gush of water. It was like a scene from a movie, not something I experienced in my first two pregnancies. I called out to my husband, who was still asleep, and told him that my water broke. As I was sitting there kind of in shock and thinking over all the things I needed to do, Pete called my parents, who left NC to come help us take care of the kids, he called my IPs, who had a 4 hour drive ahead of them to get to us, and then called the doctor. Being that this is our third time going into labor we were actually very calm and organized. We both had bags packed already so we just went though and made sure we had everything we needed and packed the car. When we were ready to go we went and woke up the kids and explained what was happening. Even though this is now 3:30 in the morning, they were both excited and ready to go. My contractions didn't start until we were on our way to the hospital. We arrived and were admitted at around 4 am. The kids had their Nabi and IPad so they were playing games and watching movies. Whenever anything evasive happened or when I was in the most pain Pete would kind of block them or distract them. I got an epidural around 5:30 or so and that made things much easier. At around 6:30 I felt the urge to push and the nurse came to check me and I was indeed ready. My parents made it to the hospital right around this time, thankfully! They got the kids and took them to our house just as things were about to get started. We called our IPS and let them know that we couldn't wait anymore, Adelyn was ready! They were so close but she was not waiting. After a very short labor, Adelyn arrived at 7:00am. Our IPs were in the parking lot when she entered the world but we kept them on speakerphone throughout the entire labor. They made it to the room about 10 minutes after she got here. I wanted them to be the first person to hold her so after she was delivered I had the nurse take her and clean her up but I had Pete stand next to her the whole time so she wouldn't be alone. They came in and seeing their faces was the most rewarding experience I have ever had. There was so much love in the room and to know that I had a part in bringing all that love into the world was just an amazing feeling. After they both held her and bonded with her for a few minutes they gave her to me so that I could hold her. Looking at her, I was so proud of what we had accomplished. After about 2 hours of recovery we were released from the delivery room and sent to our recovery rooms. They got their own room separate from us but came to our room to start with. Once I was settled in they took Addie and went to their room. This was nice so that we all got a break and some rest. Over the course of that day and the next we visited each other constantly. We would walk down to their room or they to ours. His parents, her mom and sister, my parents, my husband and my kids were all constant visitors. At one point ALL of us were in a room together. That was the point at which my heart was the most full. Seeing all their family and all my family together and loving each other and loving this precious baby. It was so special. I am so thankful that my IPs included me and my family in their time in the hospital with Adelyn. I have heard so many horror stories of surrogates that are completely cut out of the babies life as soon as they give birth. Surros who never get to hold the baby, whose kids never get to say good bye, who have no resolution and are just dumped as soon as the baby arrives. I am so lucky that my situation was the exact opposite. We got all the time we wanted with her and them and so did my family. I have pictures of my daughter holding Addie that I will cherish forever. That next day on Monday, after all the visitors had come and gone, my IPs said they wanted to go eat some lunch and asked me if I wanted to watch Adelyn while they walked down to the cafeteria. I was so honored that they trusted me to watch over their baby and felt so grateful to be given some time alone with her. I hadn't felt any sense of loss or longing for Adelyn and I thought if those feelings were going to come it would be when I was alone with her. So they left Pete and I with her. I got settled into the rocking chair, cradling her, and the feelings still didn't come. I was looking at her, and I love her so much but I didn't feel any maternal instinct or longing towards her. It felt like I was looking at a niece or the baby of a very good friend. She is so beautiful and I loved every minute alone with her but felt no sadness in giving her back when her parents came back from lunch. I don't think people who have never been a surrogate or truly considered doing it will understand that feeling. I felt so good knowing that I did my little part of bringing goodness into the world. That because of me all the love that was created. That two people who truly deserve to be parents now get to be parents. That a little girl was brought into the world that is so loved by so many people. Being a surrogate may not be the right choice for many women. I think it does take a special kind of person to go through the process. But for me, this was absolutely the right choice. I am so lucky and feel so thankful for my IPs to have been brought into my life. They made this experience everything I had hoped it would be. I could not have asked for any people more deserving or special. Now that it is all over I am happy to be back to my normal life. In all honesty I am kind of sad that it is over. It was such a good experience that it is kind of sad that it is done already. But my IPs send me pictures almost everyday (like I said, they are awesome!) and text me to let me know how she is doing and to ask how I;m doing. But I am glad to be back to normal. My husband and I are planning some vacation time. I am enjoying being back in a non-pregnant body. My kids are enjoying having me back to normal too. They love seeing pictures of Addie and got close to my IPs to so they like seeing pictures of the baby with them. Many people ask me if I think I will do this again. My answer to that is absolutely. I am in no rush. I am going to give myself plenty of time to recover but I do plan on doing this again. So I will start writing again when we decide to take another step forward.

Officially in my 9th Month- Things I am looking forward to

So we are now in the 9th month of this pregnancy. I have all my doctor appointments set from now till my due date. I have my hospital bag (mostly) packed. I know that no matter what I have a maximum of 5 weeks left and that is only if she arrives past her due date. The end is getting close. I know my IPs and their family are extremely excited and anxious for their beautiful baby girl to make her appearance and forever change their lives. I am also excited, not only for them, but for myself too. So as I sit here writing this I will make a list of the things I am excited about for myself. As a disclaimer, I don't want to get any flack from anyone about wishing this pregnancy would end soon. I am not hoping for her to arrive now. She needs a little more baking time to give her the best possible chance to be healthy and have no complications. We are just so close to that time that I can't help but think about the end date. Things I am Excited about when my life goes back to normal #1 & #2 are a toss up as to which one I am looking forward to the most #1 Having a glass of wine (or champagne or even a beer). I have not had the desire to drink this whole pregnancy but now that we are so close to the end I can't wait till I am able to have that first glass and just relax! #2 Laying down on my stomach. This is a luxury you take for granted when not pregnant. I am so looking forward to not being restricted when I lay down! #3 Stopping all pregnancy related medications to deal with pregnancy related problems. I will still take a multi-vitamin because I always have but my terrible daily heartburn and indigestion should go away so the daily zantax should also. The fiber pills should go away because I should not have problems any more being "regular". The iron pills should go away because the anemia will also. #4 Being able to walk from one side of the house to the other or up/down the stairs without being completely winded. Right now even the littlest physical activity leaves me short of breath. Even just standing up for too long makes me tired. This little girl is still sitting so high that she is taking a lot of lung space. I look forward to have full lung capacity again. #5 Being able to bend from the middle. Having a basketball size belly really restricts your movements. I can not bend over and touch my toes. I can not just get up from the couch. My mobility is severely limited. So I am looking forward to a full range of movement. This means being able to work out too. Right now the most I can do is walk and do modified yoga (and at this point it is VERY modified). I am ready to be able to do some high intensity workouts and push myself. To be able to bend and move in yoga, being able to stretch in all directions. It feels kind of pitiful that just walking can wear me out so much. #6 Being able to sleep close to my husband. Since about 5 months along I have had to use a pregnancy pillow. Since I can't sleep on my stomach due to the baby being there, or on my back because its not safe and it is hard to breath or be comfortable so I have to sleep on my sides which hurts my hips, I have to have the pregnancy pillow to help my sleep comfortably in that position. A pregnancy pillow is basically a full body length pillow with a curve at the bottom to go between your legs to help make your hips comfortable. Since I have been using this for about 4-5 months I can't sleep close to my husband because there is literally a wall of pillow between us. So being able to sleep in any position, without restrictions, without pillows, without a barrier will be really nice. #7 Not having to pee all the time. I wouldn't be surprised if this little girl is like 25 inches long because while she is sitting up really high and taking up my lung space she is also constantly on my bladder. This is not a problem most of the time but there are some times when she turns or presses down where I HAVE to go immediately. It is worse at night, which seems to be a theme. I have to go to the bathroom at least twice before I try to go to sleep but no matter what at between 1-2am I get up to go an additional time. I don't know why it is in that specific hour each night but for the last month it has been every night. #8 I am ready for my back to stop hurting. There is no comfortable sitting position anymore. I can only sit in any one position for a limited amount of time before I have to shift and sit differently. The muscles than run from my back around to my front to hold up my abdomen are stretched to the max, So any additional strain, even just sitting, hurts. I feel like if I could just twist and crack my back it would bring a lot of relief but that is something I am not able to do at this point. Getting a massage helps but I can't afford to get them all the time. I have paid for one about once every 3 months with this pregnancy but I really need it more often now to relieve the stress and tightness in my back and shoulders. It just isn't feasible. The travel restriction I have in my contract is, I know now, completely unnecessary because it hurts to sit in a car seat for more than 10 minutes, I can't imagine sitting in a car and traveling more than an hour away. It is miserable. I am voluntarily not traveling at this point. #9 I am ready to be alone in my own body. Being pregnant means you always have another person with you 24 hours a day. I am sure there are times she wishes that I would just stop moving around or start moving to put her to sleep. Just as there are times I wish she would go to sleep and stop moving so much. To stop pressing, stop kicking, stop elbowing. Especially around midnight when she is the most active. Now that doesn't mean I hate feeling her move. If she wasn't active I would be freaking out and worried that something was wrong. Its just a case of too much of a good thing. It will be nice to see her move outside my body as a little person instead of feeling her from the inside. I am definitely ready to have some alone time. #10 What I am most ready for is to see her parents finally get to meet this precious girl in person. I am ready for them to get to be parents, to be able to hold her and love her and start her life with her. Even though she is definitely real to me, I feel her and live with her everyday, it is just completely different when she actually arrives and is present in this world. Her parents are going to be so great and she is going to have so many people in her family that love her and I just can't wait to see them with her and for her to meet them. So in conclusion, I am just ready for things to go back to normal. I don't think this is any different with a surrogate pregnancy as with a regular pregnancy. I remember having all these complaints with my own children. Pregnancy is not easy. It is not an easy thing to go through. There is just so much more to carrying a child then waiting 9 months and giving birth. The physical toll you go through is extreme. I think every woman is just ready to be done by this point. It doesn't mean you have any regrets, it doesn't mean you would do anything differently or that you want the baby to come early so you can be done. I want her to stay safe and be delivered healthy, whether that means I stay pregnant with her for 2 more weeks or 5 more weeks. It is just really exciting to be this close and know that she will be here with us soon.

Baby Showers

This past weekend was great and I am excited to be able to update everyone with the happy details. First, an update on baby Adelyn. We had our 32 week checkup last week. She is still measuring about a week ahead but well within the normal spectrum. Her heartbeat was strong at 150 and there are no problems or concerns. I have two more appointments at the two week interval timeline at 34 and 36 weeks then we will be going to weekly appointments. My IPs came the week before last to do the hospital tour and they will come again for the 36 week appointment. It is so good to see them but it is a long drive so I don't want them to have to drive over for the short checkups when nothing really happens. Over the weekend, I had the privilege to be able to attend my IM’s baby showers. I am so happy that she included me in this. I know a lot of IM’s decide to not have their surrogate go to the baby showers for various reasons. Some IMs feel like they have been left out of all the other aspects of the pregnancy and they want something just for them. Some just want to have that separation between their personal lives with their family and friends and their surrogate. So I was so happy that my IM invited me to her showers. I decided to make a weekend out of it and got a hotel room in their town for Saturday night. My husband took off work to stay home Saturday and Sunday to take care of our son while my daughter and I made the 4 hour drive to their hometown. So Saturday we got up extra early and drove to my IPs house. We got to hand out with them and their super sweet doggies for a little bit and then we went to her first baby shower together. This one was with her friends. It was at a really nice restaurant in their downtown area. All of her friends were very welcoming towards my daughter and me. I got to meet her mom and mother in law too. She got tons of great presents and super cute clothes for Adelyn. After the shower her mom took some pictures of me and my IPs in a little surrogacy photo shoot. After checking into the hotel and getting a little down time my daughter and I went back over to my IPs house for dinner with one of her friends that had thrown the shower and her husband. This was again another bonding time for us to get to know each other more as people and becoming closer. The next day we went to her second baby shower which was thrown by her sister for all of their family. I again felt so welcomed and loved by everyone. Getting to see her grandmother and sisters and have them all be so excited for the baby was just priceless. Near the end of the shower my IP came with his dad. His dad came over and was just so nice and said thank you over and over and it was so touching to meet him and see how much this means to their whole family not just to them. It was such a good experience. I am so glad I got to be involved. Their family and friends were just so nice and it has made this experience with surrogacy that much more rewarding. I just can’t say enough about how much this meant to me. On a side note, the present of the weekend came from my IM’s sister. Apparently their grandmother hand stitched quilts as present for people. And my IM and her grandmother were very close and had a special bond. Unfortunately she passed away a few years ago so my IM wouldn’t have been able to get a keepsake from her or share this with her. Well before she passed my IM’s sister had her make a quilt and without telling anyone she put it away and saved it for the day when my IM did have a baby. So she brought out the quilt and gave it to her at the shower on Sunday. It was the sweetest and most thoughtful present! I wish I had a picture of it, it is beautiful and so special.

Third trimester!!!

Hi everyone, I haven't updated this blog in a while mainly because nothing exciting is happening. We are now at week 29 and officially in the third trimester. I now have moved to the doctor appointment every 2 weeks stage which kind of sucks. I am so excited for the next milestone though, it seems like at 30 weeks you are really near the finish line. I had my glucose screening this week. I have to say, they have come a long way with the glucose drink then when I had to do it with Eliza. It really wasn't bad at all. My results came back normal so that is another thing we are in the clear of. They did tell me that my iron was low and I was a little anemic. This is not something I have ever been told before or had to deal with before. Evidently it is pretty common in pregnancy and I am just having to take an iron supplement every morning. Besides that, which it obviously not bothering me because I had not idea I was low on iron I am still having heartburn issues. Maybe this little girl has a head full of hair! I am taking nexium everyday now since the zantac wasn't cutting it but with the medicine it is not bothering me at all now. That is pretty much all that is "wrong" with me right now so I am very thankful. I am not so big that I can't do normal activities. I am still going to yoga twice a week and doing the treadmill twice a week. I am not having to get up in the middle of the night to pee every night yet. She seems to be up pretty high which is why my heartburn is worse but my bladder is ok! We do have some exciting stuff coming up in March. Not surrogacy related, but my husband the Chef is going to be at Taste of Hampton Roads and he got me VIP tickets so I get to see him compete in the iron chef competition and then I get to go to the event after. We had so much fun last year, this year probably won't be quite as fun because I can't drink but I plan on making up for what I can't have in free wine in free cheese and desserts! After that on March 13th my IPs are driving over so that we can do a tour of the hospital. Then the week after that my daughter and I are driving to my IPs and going to their baby showers. So I have a pretty exciting month next month.

We are half way there

Ok. so I didn't want to make any updates till we made it to this mile marker appointment. Today was our 20 week ultrasound so now I can update all that has been going on since my last post. On the positive side, headaches and all nausea are a thing of the past now. I feel great and have gotten my energy back. In the past two week my baby belly has POPPED! I went from being able to wear my own pants one day to no chance at all of fitting into them the next day. So I now have to contend with the frustration of maternity pants which are the most frustrating pants to wear in the world. Every two steps I am having to pull them back up and I hate them! Why has no one invented pregnancy suspenders???? When I get bigger they won't be so saggy but getting bigger is not something I want to rush so for now I just have to make it work. Also over the past two week another exciting change, I can feel little girl moving now! You can't feel her from the outside yet but boy can I feel her from the inside. She is a little wiggle worm. I am a constant worrier so having her little movements is very reassuring everyday. Right now she is a night owl, mostly active when I am going to bed but I feel her a little throughout the day too. A&A came into town last night since our ultrasound was at 8 this morning, and stayed the night in a hotel nearby. The kids and I met them for dinner. I picked somewhere that I thought wouldn't take long so we could go back to my house do some Christmas activities but that backfired as our food took an hour to come out and the manager eventually comped the whole meal due to how long we waited. But we still came back to our house afterwards and we exchanged presents. Pete even made it home in time to see the last present opened and hang out with them for a bit too. My daughter designed a build-a-bear for the new baby with a sound recorder to capture the babies heartbeat. She and I also made an ornament for them and I bought the baby a new dress, which I thought was just beautiful and I am so glad A&A liked it. They were very generous with their presents, getting toys for both my kids and a present for Pete and I. I wasn't expecting anything for us but it was very nice and I can't wait to use it (restaurant gift card). Bryan got a build and take apart construction truck, which was perfect for him, and Eliza got the game Mouse Trap. She was not excited at first and with kids they don't know how to mask disappointment but once A&A got on the floor with her and started putting the contraption together, it is now the most popular toy in the house. In fact, as I am writing this Eliza and Bryan are playing it right now. They played after lunch till nap time and got up and started again. So all in all a very successful gift exchange. This morning Bryan went with me to the doctor's appointment where A&A met us. Little girl is getting so big! You can see so much detail in the ultrasound now. We got to see her in 3D with her little squished face. She started waking up towards the end so we got to see her moving around too. All very neat! I am so happy things are going so well. She seems to be happy in her temporary home and I hope that the second half of her stay is as easy and uneventful as the first half. After meeting with the doctor after the ultrasound and confirming everything is perfect we made our appointment for the 24 week appointment and plan to see each other again at the 28 week appointment where we will do a tour of the hospital and get registered. So now back to my little family and getting all the last minute details before Christmas squared away.

A Scare, good news, and then a BIG reveal

Hey, so its been a while since I updated this blog. I honestly just didn't feel like sitting in front of the computer. But as I sit here waiting for my son to SLOWLY finish his dinner I thought I would be productive and catch up all that has happened. So I am now 15 weeks along, the baby is now the size of a naval orange and is doing well. I am now over the nausea and over all bad feelings but now have to contend with headaches everyday. This is something new to me, I don't remember having headaches with my two kids and I know I didn't have them everyday like I do now. But to go back a bit and catch up. We had an appointment almost 3 weeks ago now with the regular OB and then on to the genetic counselor. I was around 12 weeks at the time and my IPs made the trip over to go to the appointments with me. I thankfully didn't have the kids with me that day because Pete was off work and it ended up taking over 3 hours for these two appointments. So the doctor comes and does the usual questions about how everything is going then asks me to lay down so she can listen to the heartbeat. As she does this she can't find the heartbeat anywhere. She assures us that it is sometimes hard to hear this early but she wants to do an ultrasound to see what is going on. I am instantly scared to death but know I need to keep it together because my IPs are right there with me and I don't want them to worry. I try to make normal conversation while they get the ultrasound room ready for us to go to help reassure them that this is completely normal. So after a few minutes they call us over and the nurse looks and there is a beautiful healthy baby moving and squirming around! It turns out the placenta is in the front and was blocking the heartbeat from being heard. It was so neat to see that little baby moving and being so active! After that appointment we went upstairs to the genetic counselor. My IPs wanted genetic testing done on themselves and the baby to see if they were carriers for anything and to see if the baby had anything abnormal going on. Thankfully in the past two years a new test has become standard practice replacing the amniocentisis, which I was scared to death of having done! The new test only requires a blood draw from me. The way the counselor explained it was that though the majority of the blood circulating in my body is just mine, the baby is cre!ating blood and a small amount passes through the placenta and into my bloodstream. So by doing a simple blood draw on me they would be getting a sample of the baby's blood also. They can not distinguish between mine and the babies BUT they can see if anything unusual is there. The major chromosonal anomalies are due to an extra chromosone being present. So if they detect more chormosones then are supposed to be there then they would know that there is a problem. If all chromosones are accounted for and there is nothing extra then they know everything is ok. By default they can also tell the gender of the baby as I only have X chromosones as a female so if they detected a Y chromosone then they would know it was a male. It is all very cool that they can do so much with such a simple test. Fast forward a week and my IM calls me to tell me the good news. All tests came back normal, both the tests the IPs had done, they aren't carriers for anything, and the test I had done, all chromosones are accounted for, there was nothing extra. Which also means ITS A GIRL!!!!!! They are over the moon excited! It is such a relief to know that as far as we can tell everything looks absolutely perfect for this little girl. I am so excited for them too! I know how blessed I am to have my daughter and I am so excited for them to have that. So that is all that has happened recently. I go back to the doctor the beginning of December and then have our. big 20 week appointment and ultrasound the Monday before Christmas. So here's to hoping that everything keeps going smoothly like it has so far. I feel so lucky that things have gone so well for us and just pray it continues!

Exciting day

Today I took my last progesterone injection!!!!  It's so exciting to not have to do anymore shots. I can't believe how long I have been doing them and how much a part of my routine it has become.   I'm so glad the baby and I have safely made it through this stage!!!