Happy Mother's Day- The end of my journey

This past Sunday was Mother's Day and it was an especially special Mother's Day this year as my IM got to celebrate her first one with now 2 week old Adelyn. Sorry it has taken me so long to post our birth story. For the past two weeks my life has been getting back to normal. Not all the way, I am pumping and donating to Preemie Milk Bank so I am kind of tied to my breastpump for now. I don't know how exclusive pumpers get anything done or go anywhere. I feel like I can't leave the house for more than 2 hours because I have to be back here to pump and I certainly can't carry that thing around with me. But it is for a great cause. Because of Adelyn I am able to produce milk and that milk is going to help save the lives of other babies. So one more amazing thing to come out of this surrogacy. Back to the big news, Baby Adelyn is here! She arrived on Sunday April 26th at 7:00am. She weighed 7lbs3oz and was 19 inches long. She had a head full of brown hair (hence all the heartburn I had). She is doing well and is very happy in her home with her mom and dad and her two doggie brothers. It all started at 3:00am. I was asleep in bed and woke suddenly to a gush of water. I somehow jumped out of bed completely alert and made it to the bathroom before the huge gush of water. It was like a scene from a movie, not something I experienced in my first two pregnancies. I called out to my husband, who was still asleep, and told him that my water broke. As I was sitting there kind of in shock and thinking over all the things I needed to do, Pete called my parents, who left NC to come help us take care of the kids, he called my IPs, who had a 4 hour drive ahead of them to get to us, and then called the doctor. Being that this is our third time going into labor we were actually very calm and organized. We both had bags packed already so we just went though and made sure we had everything we needed and packed the car. When we were ready to go we went and woke up the kids and explained what was happening. Even though this is now 3:30 in the morning, they were both excited and ready to go. My contractions didn't start until we were on our way to the hospital. We arrived and were admitted at around 4 am. The kids had their Nabi and IPad so they were playing games and watching movies. Whenever anything evasive happened or when I was in the most pain Pete would kind of block them or distract them. I got an epidural around 5:30 or so and that made things much easier. At around 6:30 I felt the urge to push and the nurse came to check me and I was indeed ready. My parents made it to the hospital right around this time, thankfully! They got the kids and took them to our house just as things were about to get started. We called our IPS and let them know that we couldn't wait anymore, Adelyn was ready! They were so close but she was not waiting. After a very short labor, Adelyn arrived at 7:00am. Our IPs were in the parking lot when she entered the world but we kept them on speakerphone throughout the entire labor. They made it to the room about 10 minutes after she got here. I wanted them to be the first person to hold her so after she was delivered I had the nurse take her and clean her up but I had Pete stand next to her the whole time so she wouldn't be alone. They came in and seeing their faces was the most rewarding experience I have ever had. There was so much love in the room and to know that I had a part in bringing all that love into the world was just an amazing feeling. After they both held her and bonded with her for a few minutes they gave her to me so that I could hold her. Looking at her, I was so proud of what we had accomplished. After about 2 hours of recovery we were released from the delivery room and sent to our recovery rooms. They got their own room separate from us but came to our room to start with. Once I was settled in they took Addie and went to their room. This was nice so that we all got a break and some rest. Over the course of that day and the next we visited each other constantly. We would walk down to their room or they to ours. His parents, her mom and sister, my parents, my husband and my kids were all constant visitors. At one point ALL of us were in a room together. That was the point at which my heart was the most full. Seeing all their family and all my family together and loving each other and loving this precious baby. It was so special. I am so thankful that my IPs included me and my family in their time in the hospital with Adelyn. I have heard so many horror stories of surrogates that are completely cut out of the babies life as soon as they give birth. Surros who never get to hold the baby, whose kids never get to say good bye, who have no resolution and are just dumped as soon as the baby arrives. I am so lucky that my situation was the exact opposite. We got all the time we wanted with her and them and so did my family. I have pictures of my daughter holding Addie that I will cherish forever. That next day on Monday, after all the visitors had come and gone, my IPs said they wanted to go eat some lunch and asked me if I wanted to watch Adelyn while they walked down to the cafeteria. I was so honored that they trusted me to watch over their baby and felt so grateful to be given some time alone with her. I hadn't felt any sense of loss or longing for Adelyn and I thought if those feelings were going to come it would be when I was alone with her. So they left Pete and I with her. I got settled into the rocking chair, cradling her, and the feelings still didn't come. I was looking at her, and I love her so much but I didn't feel any maternal instinct or longing towards her. It felt like I was looking at a niece or the baby of a very good friend. She is so beautiful and I loved every minute alone with her but felt no sadness in giving her back when her parents came back from lunch. I don't think people who have never been a surrogate or truly considered doing it will understand that feeling. I felt so good knowing that I did my little part of bringing goodness into the world. That because of me all the love that was created. That two people who truly deserve to be parents now get to be parents. That a little girl was brought into the world that is so loved by so many people. Being a surrogate may not be the right choice for many women. I think it does take a special kind of person to go through the process. But for me, this was absolutely the right choice. I am so lucky and feel so thankful for my IPs to have been brought into my life. They made this experience everything I had hoped it would be. I could not have asked for any people more deserving or special. Now that it is all over I am happy to be back to my normal life. In all honesty I am kind of sad that it is over. It was such a good experience that it is kind of sad that it is done already. But my IPs send me pictures almost everyday (like I said, they are awesome!) and text me to let me know how she is doing and to ask how I;m doing. But I am glad to be back to normal. My husband and I are planning some vacation time. I am enjoying being back in a non-pregnant body. My kids are enjoying having me back to normal too. They love seeing pictures of Addie and got close to my IPs to so they like seeing pictures of the baby with them. Many people ask me if I think I will do this again. My answer to that is absolutely. I am in no rush. I am going to give myself plenty of time to recover but I do plan on doing this again. So I will start writing again when we decide to take another step forward.