We are half way there

Ok. so I didn't want to make any updates till we made it to this mile marker appointment. Today was our 20 week ultrasound so now I can update all that has been going on since my last post. On the positive side, headaches and all nausea are a thing of the past now. I feel great and have gotten my energy back. In the past two week my baby belly has POPPED! I went from being able to wear my own pants one day to no chance at all of fitting into them the next day. So I now have to contend with the frustration of maternity pants which are the most frustrating pants to wear in the world. Every two steps I am having to pull them back up and I hate them! Why has no one invented pregnancy suspenders???? When I get bigger they won't be so saggy but getting bigger is not something I want to rush so for now I just have to make it work. Also over the past two week another exciting change, I can feel little girl moving now! You can't feel her from the outside yet but boy can I feel her from the inside. She is a little wiggle worm. I am a constant worrier so having her little movements is very reassuring everyday. Right now she is a night owl, mostly active when I am going to bed but I feel her a little throughout the day too. A&A came into town last night since our ultrasound was at 8 this morning, and stayed the night in a hotel nearby. The kids and I met them for dinner. I picked somewhere that I thought wouldn't take long so we could go back to my house do some Christmas activities but that backfired as our food took an hour to come out and the manager eventually comped the whole meal due to how long we waited. But we still came back to our house afterwards and we exchanged presents. Pete even made it home in time to see the last present opened and hang out with them for a bit too. My daughter designed a build-a-bear for the new baby with a sound recorder to capture the babies heartbeat. She and I also made an ornament for them and I bought the baby a new dress, which I thought was just beautiful and I am so glad A&A liked it. They were very generous with their presents, getting toys for both my kids and a present for Pete and I. I wasn't expecting anything for us but it was very nice and I can't wait to use it (restaurant gift card). Bryan got a build and take apart construction truck, which was perfect for him, and Eliza got the game Mouse Trap. She was not excited at first and with kids they don't know how to mask disappointment but once A&A got on the floor with her and started putting the contraption together, it is now the most popular toy in the house. In fact, as I am writing this Eliza and Bryan are playing it right now. They played after lunch till nap time and got up and started again. So all in all a very successful gift exchange. This morning Bryan went with me to the doctor's appointment where A&A met us. Little girl is getting so big! You can see so much detail in the ultrasound now. We got to see her in 3D with her little squished face. She started waking up towards the end so we got to see her moving around too. All very neat! I am so happy things are going so well. She seems to be happy in her temporary home and I hope that the second half of her stay is as easy and uneventful as the first half. After meeting with the doctor after the ultrasound and confirming everything is perfect we made our appointment for the 24 week appointment and plan to see each other again at the 28 week appointment where we will do a tour of the hospital and get registered. So now back to my little family and getting all the last minute details before Christmas squared away.

A Scare, good news, and then a BIG reveal

Hey, so its been a while since I updated this blog. I honestly just didn't feel like sitting in front of the computer. But as I sit here waiting for my son to SLOWLY finish his dinner I thought I would be productive and catch up all that has happened. So I am now 15 weeks along, the baby is now the size of a naval orange and is doing well. I am now over the nausea and over all bad feelings but now have to contend with headaches everyday. This is something new to me, I don't remember having headaches with my two kids and I know I didn't have them everyday like I do now. But to go back a bit and catch up. We had an appointment almost 3 weeks ago now with the regular OB and then on to the genetic counselor. I was around 12 weeks at the time and my IPs made the trip over to go to the appointments with me. I thankfully didn't have the kids with me that day because Pete was off work and it ended up taking over 3 hours for these two appointments. So the doctor comes and does the usual questions about how everything is going then asks me to lay down so she can listen to the heartbeat. As she does this she can't find the heartbeat anywhere. She assures us that it is sometimes hard to hear this early but she wants to do an ultrasound to see what is going on. I am instantly scared to death but know I need to keep it together because my IPs are right there with me and I don't want them to worry. I try to make normal conversation while they get the ultrasound room ready for us to go to help reassure them that this is completely normal. So after a few minutes they call us over and the nurse looks and there is a beautiful healthy baby moving and squirming around! It turns out the placenta is in the front and was blocking the heartbeat from being heard. It was so neat to see that little baby moving and being so active! After that appointment we went upstairs to the genetic counselor. My IPs wanted genetic testing done on themselves and the baby to see if they were carriers for anything and to see if the baby had anything abnormal going on. Thankfully in the past two years a new test has become standard practice replacing the amniocentisis, which I was scared to death of having done! The new test only requires a blood draw from me. The way the counselor explained it was that though the majority of the blood circulating in my body is just mine, the baby is cre!ating blood and a small amount passes through the placenta and into my bloodstream. So by doing a simple blood draw on me they would be getting a sample of the baby's blood also. They can not distinguish between mine and the babies BUT they can see if anything unusual is there. The major chromosonal anomalies are due to an extra chromosone being present. So if they detect more chormosones then are supposed to be there then they would know that there is a problem. If all chromosones are accounted for and there is nothing extra then they know everything is ok. By default they can also tell the gender of the baby as I only have X chromosones as a female so if they detected a Y chromosone then they would know it was a male. It is all very cool that they can do so much with such a simple test. Fast forward a week and my IM calls me to tell me the good news. All tests came back normal, both the tests the IPs had done, they aren't carriers for anything, and the test I had done, all chromosones are accounted for, there was nothing extra. Which also means ITS A GIRL!!!!!! They are over the moon excited! It is such a relief to know that as far as we can tell everything looks absolutely perfect for this little girl. I am so excited for them too! I know how blessed I am to have my daughter and I am so excited for them to have that. So that is all that has happened recently. I go back to the doctor the beginning of December and then have our. big 20 week appointment and ultrasound the Monday before Christmas. So here's to hoping that everything keeps going smoothly like it has so far. I feel so lucky that things have gone so well for us and just pray it continues!

Exciting day

Today I took my last progesterone injection!!!!  It's so exciting to not have to do anymore shots. I can't believe how long I have been doing them and how much a part of my routine it has become.   I'm so glad the baby and I have safely made it through this stage!!!

9 weeks down

So I am now 9 weeks 4 days pregnant with a single baby. Last week my IPs got to come to my regular OB for our first prenatal visit with the doctor. We got to do another ultrasound and since I am farther along we got to abdominal ultrasound as opposed to the awful transvaginal one. The baby looked great and measured perfectly. His/her heartbeat was 174 which is great too! I'm thinking this is a boy but that is just my guess. The doctors appointment went great and we really liked the doctor a lot. My IPs decided not to do an amniocentesis or CVS and instead we are doing a newer genetic screening that only involves a blood draw, so I am really happy about that also. That will be in two weeks. So besides that nothing much going on. I am having bad headaches everyday and still feeling nauseous and tired and over all just not good but hoping that I am in the homestretch and relief will come soon. I go back on Friday this week to have more bloodwork done to check my medicine/hormone levels and HOPEFULLY start decreasing the medications. So a lot to look forward to, decreasing and stopping meds, nausea and bad symptoms leaving, getting energy back and entering the "safe zone" of the second trimester. A lot to be happy about!

Gingerale and crackers

Week 6 has proven to be quite a big week for me. The pregnancy symptoms have set!!! We will be finishing the week with our first ultrasound which is very exciting but also super stressful. So let me break down what is going on. First let me say that I am not complaining. I feel like I say that a lot but its true. Having been pregnant twice already with my own kids I had no delusions about the pregnancy process. I went into this knowing full well what I would be experiencing. With that being said, the 1st trimester SUCKS!!!! It sucks for so many reasons both physically and mentally. Lets start with the mental part. I am a worrisome person. I worry about everything. I remember being pregnant with my kids and having these same worries. I thought since this isn't my baby maybe I would worry less but that has proven to be untrue. I think I worry just the same but for different reasons. I worry that something will go wrong and I will hurt A&A. I don't want them to be disappointed or be hurt. I want so badly for this to work for them the first time. So after the transfer I worried that the embryos didn't stick. I spent probably $50 in home pregnancy tests reassuring myself that it worked and we got that confirmation with the BETAs. Our first BETA at 12dp5dt was 344 and our second at 14dp5dt was 911. These are very good, very strong numbers indicating that we were in fact pregnant and the baby (or babies) are doing great. Well after those BETAs we now have had to wait another 2 weeks before the ultrasound. So I have had two weeks to worry that something has gone wrong. I am still taking HPTs to reassure myself that I am in fact still pregnant but that worry will be there until Friday when we do the ultrasound and find out for sure that there is a little heartbeat in there. I never had to go through the heartache of going to the doctor and not seeing a heartbeat when there should be and I am so scared that I will have failed them if that happens. But really there is no reason for me to think that anything like that would happen. All the signs are pointing in the direction of me being pregnant and I shouldn't be worrying myself unnecessarily but I can't help it. The first trimester is known as the danger zone because that is where most miscarriages happen. The sooner we are in the safe zone the better. I am so ready for Friday to get confirmation that all is ok. Now for the physical, because not only do you worry more during the first trimester, you suffer more too. So I was having some very mild symptoms before but it is full blown now. The nausea has set in this week. I am waking up and starting my day with gingerale and crackers everyday. I can't think of any food that sounds good to me. In fact, most foods that I think of make me want to throw up. I am super tired all the time. There are points in the day that I just don't think I am going to make it without going to take a nap. Luckily for me, Bryan still takes a nap and Eliza is understanding so if I can just make it to Bryan's nap time then I get some relief. Unfortunately, my body is not always tired at night which makes me unable to fall asleep when I should. So I am sooo tired during the day but can't sleep at night. My body's internal thermostat is also broken. At least that is what my husband always jokes and says. This happened with my own pregnancies too. I just can't seem to regulate my body temperature. While everybody else is comfortable I could be freezing or sweating. Most of the time I will be so cold I have to put on pants, socks, and cover in a blanket. Next up is that I am dizzy much more often. If I try to stand up quickly I can only take a couple of steps before everything goes fuzzy and I have to stop till it clears. I looked this up and it says that my body has not adjusted to the extra blood flow needed for the growing embryo and it is pretty common. Then last is that my boobs are bigger and very sore. So I think I covered all the symptoms and because I am experiencing all of these it should put my mind at ease that the pregnancy is moving right along as it should because this is pretty textbook for the first trimester. For all the reasons above, I can't wait till the second trimester starts! All these symptoms will dissipate and I won't worry so much that something is wrong. Being that I am 6 weeks 4 days right now I have a ways to go though. So just concentrating on the ultrasound Friday, praying to see one or two strong heartbeats!

An emotional but happy day

So two big things happened today. 1- My not so baby girl started her first day of Kindergarten today! She was very excited and she looked so cute when she left for school. My husband took her in and walked her to class for the first day and I picked her up. She had a great day, like I knew she would. Before she left I told her to remember three things that she did so she could tell me when I picked her up. So when I got her in the car she said "Mommy I did shapes, went to the playground, and got water. You told me to remember 3 things so I did." I got her to elaborate more later but those were the three things that stuck out to her. 2- My 2 week wait is over! My son and I went to the outpatient lab first thing this morning for the BETA bloodtest. It was just a simple blood draw and we didn't have to wait long. Before I left I asked when I should expect my clinic to get the results and they said within this hour, this was at 9am. So I wait all day, my IM and I are texting each other, no results. Finally we both can't take it anymore and we call the clinic and the nurse ends us having to call the hospital. They did this to us the last time I had to get blood work done. They said they didn't have a release form even though our nurse sent it like 10 times! Anyway, after some back and forth they finally gave her the results. 344!!! That is a good healthy number and it means we are PREGNANT!!! I am so happy for my IPs! This has been a long journey and I am so happy my body and their embryos decided to work together to make this miracle happen. It makes everything we have been through, all the shots, the traveling, the waiting, all worth it. The nurse ended up telling my IM which kind of upset me because I wanted to be the one to give her the good news. I had planned to have flowers sent to her work with the BETA number on the card but that went out the window when the hospital took so long to give us the results. But I still would have liked to have been the one to tell her. But in the long run all that matters is that it was good news so I can't be too upset. Now I go back on Thursday for the second BETA to make sure the numbers are rising like they should and then in two week we will have the ultrasound to confirm heartbeat. With every step we take the stakes get higher and higher. It is such a relief to get each thing done but now with each milestone it is literally life and death. Either the beta will go up or the pregnancy is in trouble. Either the heartbeat shows up or it is over. It is such high stakes. Sorry I don't want to end on a down note. I am very excited and happy and I will continue to trust my body to take care of this baby and that we will have all good news for the rest of this pregnancy! Its so exciting to think I am pregnant. Just one more thing, after I talked to my IM I called Eliza into the room. I told her that we got good news and that the baby they put in my tummy is doing good and decided to stay and grow. She gave me a big hug and a big kiss and said Mommy I am so proud of you and happy for the baby in your belly. It just melted my heart. She is the sweetest little girl. I am so lucky to be able to help another couple to have a little person in their life that will say things like that to them.

A first for me (and my dad)

So I've been doing the progesterone shots everyday, super easy, but Pete always does them for me. Well, I had to go to nc to get the kids and Pete is working so I knew I would have to do at least one day maybe two days of shots by myself. 

This morning I got all iced up as usual but when I tried to do the shot I could turn enough to get a good angle (and I was freaked out!). I decided the other side would be easier even though I had done that side yesterday. So, stalling as long as I could and calling my husband to get moral support, I iced the other side. 

After a deep breath I just did it, the needle went right in super easy. I am so proud of myself. But after the needle went in I tried to push the plunger and couldn't get it to move. After a couple of tries I reluctantly yelled for my dad. So I'm in the bathroom with a needle sticking out of my butt and he comes in. I  positively sure he has never done anything related to giving a shot. But he came in and helped me. I know that was weird for him but thankful he was there to help. 

So it was a first for both of us. 

I love my IPs

We got to the hotel and our room is huge and they were so thoughtful, they left me a gift basket and a very sweet note. That was unexpected and very sweet. 

Transfer done

So we are finished with the transfer. It's a really simple procedure and totally painless. The hardest part is the nurse pushing down on your bladder with the ultrasound. I had to pee SOOOOO bad, it was almost unbearable. But it takes such a short time to do the transfer I was able to manage. So we transferred to beautiful perfect embryos. I'm hoping that at least one of them finds a comfortable spot and decides to hang around with me for the next 9 months. 

So now off to the hotel to rest and let these guys settle in. All prayers and positive thoughts are appreciated. I'll find out in two weeks whether they decided to stick around and let me take care of them. 

PS- the Valium has not really kicked in yet but starting to feel a little dizzy/loopy. Not nearly as altering as I thought it would be. 

Transfer day!!

So today is the day of our transfer. Pete and I got up this morning and left at 7:30 to drive to the clinic, which is 3 hours away. My instructions are to arrive with a full bladder. This was the same instructions I had last time. Last time I thought I did a good job but when I got there they said it wasn't full enough. They wanted me with a sense of urgency, at the point of distress!  So being on a long drive this is really all about timing. I know I have 20 mins till we get there so I'm trying to estimate how much to drink to be in distress when I get there but not past the point where I can't make it:). Just another of the joys in the process of surrogacy!

I am also supposed to take 3 Valium at 10:30 which is only a couple of mins from now. I have never taken Valium before so I  kind of nervousr for how "out of it" I will be. 

All that being said I am super excited our big day is finally here. We are actually doing this!  It's almost unreal. 

I will post an update later today to tell you how everything went. 

Wish us luck!!!

Better Right than Rushed

Better right than rushed, that has been been my motto for the past couple of weeks. Since my lining check my IM went on meds to get ready for egg retrieval. Everything since then has been a estimate. This is the process and what we signed up for but can still be frustrating. They first told her retrieval would be sometime Monday thru Thursday. She had to drive everyday to keep checking to see how things were progressing. As time went on we were told more like Wed or Thu, then Thu to Saturday, then most likely Friday to finally it definitely happened on Saturday. Again, better right than rushed. She did great, they were able to retrieve 11 eggs. Once we found out for sure that retrieval was going to be on Saturday then I knew for sure when my meds would change. So meds changing was a big source of anxiousness for me. The day before she did retrieval I was to stop Lupron (those nice small needles that were just subdermal in my arm or stomach that you can barely feel) and I was to start Progesterone (the 1 1/2 inch needle that is intramuscular and you are supposed to "jab in a dart like motion all the way into the muscle). Yeah, when I got those needles in the mail it made me freak out a little. OK, a lot! So I do what I always do when I am encountering something new, I ask others for their experiences. I found from my surro community that the general consensus is not that bad. They even said they preferred the shot to the alternative option of the suppository. This all made me feel better but since I got the meds a couple of weeks before I actually started I had all that time to obsess over the needles and what it was going to be like. I was thinking about it every night before I went to bed and just working myself up. Since the shots are done in the morning, the night before I was supposed to start I could not sleep. I just kept thinking about the shot the next morning and how I was going to have to potentially do this everyday for the next 12 weeks. So I went on youtube. The video from the pharmacy was very clinical and didn't really give you a real life view of the experience. Plus the instructions that said "jab in a dart like motion" really freaked me out. Youtube is what really made everything better. I watched video after video that others have posted in my exact situation of getting their first progesterone shot. What all of the ladies I saw said was that it was not so bad. I got to see exactly how their husbands or significant others did to prepare, how they did the injection, and their true reaction to the shot. I got some good pointers too. So after seeing the videos I was able to sleep. The next morning I got up, put and ice pack on my upper butt muscle and put the progesterone vial in my bra. The ice numbs the area while the vial warms the medicine. Since it is in oil it can be thick and goes in slowly so warming it up thins the liquid. Once I had these complete I woke up my husband and showed him a couple of the videos that I thought were most helpful. I think it was good for him to see other husbands and their technique. I then got the shot ready and laid on the bed (another pointer I found, it takes the weight off the muscle so you aren't flexing). I took a video of my experience with the shot too, I just haven't found out how to transfer it from my phone to the computer. Pete asked if I was ready and then put the needle in. I barely felt it!!! It went so much better than I thought. I was expecting the needle to meet more resistance to the muscle or more pain since the needle goes in deeper but it was not bad at all! The worst part was the psychological part. Now, four shots later, I am not nervous at all. It is a pain doing all the prep work in the morning preparing for the shot but none of the 4 shots have hurt at all so far. My husband hates it, he hates needles and is not excited about giving shots whatsoever. I made him stop giving Lupron because it was easier for me to do it myself. The angle of these shots makes it hard for me to do myself so I am so glad that he is doing so well with it. Back to the transfer. With my IM doing retrieval on Saturday that put a 3 day transfer today, Tuesday, or a 5 day transfer on Thursday. Well, you can't really plan because you just won't know until day of if the embryos are ready. So my parents took my kids home to NC with them so that I would be free to travel either day. I got the call this morning at 8:15 that they are pushing it to Thursday. I was really ready for today to be the big day. I was very excited and ready for the transfer but that brings me back to the motto, better right than rushed. I truly hope that we get pregnant on the first try so I want the embryos to be at the healthiest best stage possible for the transfer. So even though I was ready for today if chances are better for the embryo to survive the transfer on Thursday then Thursday it is!! So now, Yay for Thursday!!!

The anticipation is terrible

So we have reached the week of the transfer, what we have been waiting for for so long now but it is not quite here yet. I am a naturally very schedule oriented person. I like to plan my days and I like to stick to a schedule. Unfortunately, scheduling the transfer is out of my hands. Not knowing when this event will happen is driving my plan making mind crazy. It is the nature of the procedure though and I must accept it and make peace with it. Right now I feel like there is a big holiday coming but it is a surprise as to when it might be. We are doing a fresh transfer. With gestational surrogacy there are typically two types of transfers, a fresh or a frozen. With a frozen cycle the eggs have already been retrieved and fertilized and the embryos were then frozen. They then thaw them out and transfer them to the surrogate. With that type of transfer you can plan ahead. We, however, are doing a fresh transfer meaning that my IM and I had to sync our cycles, I had to build the lining of my uterus and prepare my body while at the same time she prepares her body for retrieving eggs. As you can imagine, this takes more flexibility. Once it was determined my body was ready to start estrogen then she started her meds. Now we were given a week window in which they thought her body would be ready for retrieval. Then I had an ultrasound done to see if the estrogen had worked (it had and I am ready to go) and in the meantime she is having to take daily trips to the clinic to see if she is ready for retrieval. We were told last week that it should be sometime Monday to Friday. Over the weekend it looked like Wednesday or Thursday. Then it looked like Friday or Saturday. Today they are saying 90% sure for Friday. So we are both hoping that Friday will be the day. The uncertainty doesn't end there though. Once the embryo is made we would have either a 3 or 5 day transfer. This means that they combine the egg and sperm and after 3 days they look at the possible embryos. If there are two definite winners, two definitely look better than any of the others, then we transfer those two that day. If on day 3 more than two of the embryos look good and they can't chose between which looks better then they let them develop for two more days. On day 5 they take the best looking two and transfer those. So even if we find out tomorrow that we definitely are retrieving on Friday I still won't know if the transfer will be on Monday or Wednesday next week. So Monday morning I will have to be "on call". They said they will call by 8:30 and let me know how the embryos look and if I need to drive out. If they decide on Monday on a 3 day transfer then we have to pick up and drive 3 hours that day. If they decide to do a 5 day then we will have a scheduled time to drive up on Wednesday. This means my husband has to be flexible with his days off next week since we don't know what days he actually needs off. I have to have him there though because after the transfer I will be on bed rest and need a travel companion. My dad is driving here tomorrow to spend some time with me and the kids, get one more theme park day in, and then will take the kids home with him on Sunday. They will stay with my parents next week so that I will be free to be on bedrest and travel unencumbered. Unfortunately for him, my mom goes back to work as a teacher on Monday so he will be watching the kids everyday by himself, something he has never done before. This might sound like I am complaining but I don't want it to come off that way. It is just part of the process. If you aren't willing to wait and be patient then this is not for you. I embrace the things I can't change. I want everything to goes as perfectly. I hope we are successful on our first try. To give us the best chance at success the doctors look for optimal conditions. So if that means waiting then so be it. I would rather things be right then rushed. Having said that, I still hope we find out for 100% sure that the retrieval is Friday. I am ready to get started helping my IPs have their baby.

Add on another

So the Lupron shots have been going well. I have no fear now and give myself shots with no hesitation. I had bloodwork done this last Thursday, they wanted my levels below 75 and mine was 9 so my body is responding really well to the medicine. My IM got her baseline done on Monday and everything looks good with her so hopefully she will have her retrieval August 11th or that week at least. I got the call yesterday to add on the next medicine. I started estrace last night along with the Lupron. I take 1pill for 4 days, then 2 pills for 4 days, then 3 pills everyday after till the transfer. 

I have an ultrasound on August 8th to check my lining and see if my body is ready for the transfer. After that I will start progesterone shots, which are much bigger needles and I'm nervous about. 

So far everything is going really well. One step at a time:)

Now for my reward

So after having two glasses of wine for courage I just had my first shot. I made my husband do it for me though. We went in the bedroom, laid out everything very clinically. We watched the "how to" video. We swabbed the area with alcohol. We got the syringe ready. Then I couldn't stop laughing. I was pysching myself out. Everytime Pete went to pinch the area I could not stop laughing. It took at least 10 tries. Finally I stopped him and had to talk it out. The needle we are using is small. I get shots with no problem. I give blood every time I am eligible. I have had much bigger needles. This is just psychological. This is no big deal. I took a deep breath and got serious and told him I was ok. He did the shot and I barely felt it. It was over before I knew it started. So day 1 is done. Now to eat the reward brownie I baked (and told myself I could not have till I finished the shot).

Another Big Milestone

My Meds Arrived! Yay, I have never been so excited to get a shot! So to catch up from last time, the RE prescribed antibiotics for Pete and I to take and separate one just for me. I guess just to clean out our system and kill anything that could interfere with the transfer. She also prescribed estradiol for later on and valium for before the transfer too. My IM ordered the Lupron to be shipped directly to me and I got them Tuesday. I will get the progesterone prescription later too. Pete had to get his standard blood work done and my thyroid level turned out to be a little high (it was fine for a normal person at 2.9 but for the transfer they wanted it to be below 2.5) so I had to get an additional thyroid panel done. Well, the hospital here did a terrible job communicating with the RE and it took 2 weeks for them to finally send over the results but I got the call this morning that all the results are in, everything looks good (even my thyroid level)! I got the good news that I should start doing Lupron shots tonight!!! I have never had a problem getting shots or giving blood or anything but I have never given myself a shot. Everyone says it is more a psychological fear than a legitimate physical fear. I plan on having Pete do the shots tonight after he gets off work. I trust him with everything else in my life and I know he will be very careful with me. So our timeline seems to be moving right along. The nurse said to start Lupron tonight, to stop birth control on the 22nd and when I get my period to call and they will send me a lab slip so I can go to a clinic here close to me, not sure if it is to get an ultrasound to look at my uterus lining or to check my hormone levels. But anyway, my IM will start her meds and they are thinking they will do the retrieval sometime around August 10-15 meaning the transfer will be around August 13-20 depending on when the retrieval is actually done and if we do a 3 day or 5 day transfer. So in less than a month I could be pregnant! It is so exciting! I feel so lucky to be able to be a part of this process. My IPs just seem like such wonderful people. My IM and I get along really well, she wrote me this very sweet and loving email today and it just makes my heart happy.

Medical Evaluation was a Success!!

So I had my medical evaluation this past Wednesday. My IM met me at her clinic that morning and spent the day with me. The clinic is 3 hours away and my appointment was at 8:45 so it was an early morning but I was so excited to go I barely slept the night before. The clinic was really nice and the staff were fantastic. I never felt like I had to wait too long, they all seemed like they were talking to me and not just a number or the next patient on the list. I never felt rushed, they took their time to answer all my questions. It was a really good experience. Anyway, when I got there they wanted to do an ultrasound to measure my uterus but I had not drank enough (even though I had a medium soda and cup of coffee) so I was given a big glass of water and told to tell them when I was uncomfortably in distress. That did not take long!!! I was very much in distress by the time we did the ultrasound. In the meantime, they took some blood for the lab. I then went back for the exam. They took some swabs, very much like a pap smear, and measured my uterus and lining. All of that went well, no problems, they said everything looked good. After this I was sent downstairs to radiology so they could do an HSG dye test. This is where they put a cathater in the uterus and put dye through it to map everything out. The doctor was checking to make sure the fallopian tubes were open also. This test also went well also with no problems. After that my IM and I went back upstairs and I was given a tutorial for how to do my own injections and an explanation of the medicine I would be prescribed. My husband and I were given a prescription for a broad spectrum antibiotic and I was given a prescription for metronidazole. I was also given a prescription for estradiol and valium but those are for later in the process. I as able to pick up these medicines yesterday and we started the antibiotics today. These we will take for 7 days. Pete got a lab slip to get his own blood work done which he was able to do yesterday. The Lupron, which is what I will have to to inject, will be sent to me through the mail. As long as everyone's bloodwork comes back normal then I should be getting that medicine in about a week. So as of right now we are on track for a transfer the second week of August. I'm not sure exactly what the next step is but I know that I will be getting a calendar for my medicine soon and I will be going to a clinic here in town to do my hormone and lining checks so I don't have to drive so far in between now and the transfer. Just waiting on instructions:)

A few steps forward

Ok, it has been a while but some progress has been made. I was almost afraid to post anything because I didn't want to jinx us but I do have news to report. First, we did our psychological evaluation. Peter and I drove to Richmond and met with the psychologist by ourselves and then we met with her and our IPs all together for a group session. It went great! My IM and I have had really good communication throughout this whole process so the pysc didn't really have many questions or situations to bring up that we hadn't already talked about. It was good to have a third party ask us things and for us to be able to talk through some situations face to face but no big suprises. Afterwards the 4 of us went out to lunch which was also really nice. We got to see each other in real world settings, not on a computer screen or through email. They seem like they are just as nice and sincere in person as they do online so that makes me very happy. Second, we have agreed on contracts! Yay! So it took a few weeks to get everything done but most of that time was just waiting for the lawyers to draw up the contract. Once we actually got it we went back and forth 3 times but no major changes any time and now we have the finalized draft sent to us this morning. My IF is out of town so they can't get theirs notarized till next week and Pete is working so we can't get ours notarized till Thursday but it is done besides the signatures. And third, we have our medical evaluation scheduled for this WEDNESDAY! I am beyond excited to get this done. I have to drive about 3 hours but my IM is meeting me there and wants to go to all the appointments/tests with me which I think is great. She says she has a lot of questions for the doctors which I love. Since she has done these tests when going through IVF I think she will be a great comfort to me and she will know what to ask and what to look for as I will have no idea. I am excited to spend the day with her too. I think us getting to know each other better now will help with the actual pregnancy later. Once I am cleared with her clinic on Wednesday that means I get to start medication (YAY! Bring on the needles) and that brings us that much closer to the actual transfer. We are hoping for early August but I don't want to get to far ahead of myself. One step at a time. I will write again on Wednesday and let you all know how the appointment goes and hopefully it will be good news.

Starting from scratch... take 3

So as I left off from my last post, I am no longer continuing on as a surrogate for my brother and sister in law because they are currently pregnant (yay!!!) and moving. Well that left me back at square one again. Being a surrogate is something that I really want to do and it has been a full year since making the decision to move forward and start the process. So this is something that I have been waiting to do for a long time. I don't want to sound selfish, its not like I am the one waiting to have a baby so it is not a poor me situation but I am a very goal oriented person and once I decide something I don't like waiting around. So when I told me SIL that I couldn't wait another year, even though I hope our timelines match up next year, I want to go ahead and find a new couple now. At first I kind of went into panic mode and started looking up every agency and filling out applications for all of them that I thought looked good to work with. I never thought about going independent but i went on surromomsonline.com and started looking through classified ads and also joining facebook surrogacy groups. I answered a couple of ads and never heard back from anyone. I found one agency I really liked, The Surrogacy Experience, but they have an exclusivity agreement you must sign from the very beginning. They do the medical testing before you get matched with IPs and incur the cost themselves so they require you to sign a contract for 6 months with them as soon as you sign on. As bad as I wanted to get started I also didn't want to rush into a contract on the second day looking. So I decided to take the weekend to think it over. I went back to surromomsonline.com and instead of answering an ad I posted an ad about myself. Well, the emails started pouring in. The first two couples to email me sounded great and I emailed them back and started correspondence. I very quickly remembered how emotional this process is for the IPs. I don't ever want to lead anyone on, hurt anyone, or let anyone down. Of the two couples, one of them just seemed "right". They seemed like exactly what I was looking for in the couple I would want to pick. I let the other couple and anyone else who emailed me know basically what I just said, this was too emotional a process and I needed to see things through with the other couple. The IPs I picked are so nice. They live close so they can be really involved in their baby's progress. It just seems right. So we set up a skype call and seemed to really connect. When we were done talking I was about to say something like, why don't you guys think about things and email me later but before I could, they looked at each other and said that if I was happy they wanted to move forward. That was so great to hear that they liked me as much as I liked them. So now I am going independent with my semi-local couple. She seems to be as organized and goal oriented as I am so I think we will be just fine doing all the leg work ourselves. Since then, we have skyped again with my husband on the call to so we could all 4 meet each other. I have sent my insurance information to their lawyer to get it checked and it all looks good. I had my medical records faxed to the clinic and my psychological evaluation from last year faxed over too. Now we are just about to where I was before with the first IPs, as far as I have gotten in a year. I am in the hurry up and wait phase. I am waiting for their lawyers to send me a contract to review with my lawyer. I am waiting for their clinic to review my previous psychological evaluation to determine what needs to be done again and when we can set up an appointment for whatever is left to be done. I am waiting for contracts and psyc eval before I can schedule a medical evaluation. I have done everything in my power that I can do and now it is out of my hands. That is a feeling that I really don't like. So now we wait. I am really excited about this new opportunity and I am praying that things go smoothly for us. They are a great couple and I think they will be great parents. I am so excited about the possibility of being able to help them.

It has been a while

So it has been 6 months since my last post and while a lot has happened, unfortunately nothing has happened in the way of surrogacy since last month and that was bittersweet. To start where I left off... I was very sad to say goodbye to the other couple and they were understandably hurt by my decision. But I was really excited about the possibility of helping my brother and sister in law to have their baby. Soon after making our decision my husband got a job offer. This was really exciting for us because we would be moving to Virginia, which only puts us 3 hours from my family and 6 hours to his parents which is so much closer than Florida! (looking back on this now, it was kind of a blessing in disguise that I didn't move forward with the other parents because there is usually a clause in the contracts that says you can't move out of state and this would have been detrimental to my family) So he took the job and we began the process of moving. Since moving is a really stressful experience and because there would be a lapse in insurance till he was at the new job for a full month, my SIL decided to postpone starting till we were established in VA. I was fine with this, it made sense so we waited. In the meantime something wonderful happened. After trying for so long they got pregnant!!! We were overjoyed for them! I talked to my SIL and they still have frozen embryos so they still wanted to go ahead with the surrogacy. That was great with me but I sent her a letter kind of letting her "off the hook". I explained that I knew being pregnant was stressful so if they wanted to concentrate on just one baby that was completely understandable. I didn't want her to feel like she had to move forward or feel guilty if she decided to wait. But she wanted to move forward anyway just wait till closer to when the baby is due in September. So I was ok with that too so still waiting. Well, life seems to always laugh when you make plans and shortly after talking to her about starting in August her husband got a job offer, in Seattle. I think this was just one too many things to deal with, which is also understandable, and she decided to postpone the surrogacy again. I completely understand her position, that is a lot of stress, being now 25 weeks pregnant and moving across the country, buying a house. Thats is a lot for anyone to deal with to try to throw in surrogacy on top of that it too much. So it is still my sincere hope that our timelines match up next time so that I can help with a sibling project with them because I know they will be great parents and it would be a really great experience to help to bring my niece or nephew into the world but I just can't wait any longer to start my own journey. That brings us up to the beginning of last month. I have more to tell and it is all very exciting but I will save that for my next post.