The anticipation is terrible

So we have reached the week of the transfer, what we have been waiting for for so long now but it is not quite here yet. I am a naturally very schedule oriented person. I like to plan my days and I like to stick to a schedule. Unfortunately, scheduling the transfer is out of my hands. Not knowing when this event will happen is driving my plan making mind crazy. It is the nature of the procedure though and I must accept it and make peace with it. Right now I feel like there is a big holiday coming but it is a surprise as to when it might be. We are doing a fresh transfer. With gestational surrogacy there are typically two types of transfers, a fresh or a frozen. With a frozen cycle the eggs have already been retrieved and fertilized and the embryos were then frozen. They then thaw them out and transfer them to the surrogate. With that type of transfer you can plan ahead. We, however, are doing a fresh transfer meaning that my IM and I had to sync our cycles, I had to build the lining of my uterus and prepare my body while at the same time she prepares her body for retrieving eggs. As you can imagine, this takes more flexibility. Once it was determined my body was ready to start estrogen then she started her meds. Now we were given a week window in which they thought her body would be ready for retrieval. Then I had an ultrasound done to see if the estrogen had worked (it had and I am ready to go) and in the meantime she is having to take daily trips to the clinic to see if she is ready for retrieval. We were told last week that it should be sometime Monday to Friday. Over the weekend it looked like Wednesday or Thursday. Then it looked like Friday or Saturday. Today they are saying 90% sure for Friday. So we are both hoping that Friday will be the day. The uncertainty doesn't end there though. Once the embryo is made we would have either a 3 or 5 day transfer. This means that they combine the egg and sperm and after 3 days they look at the possible embryos. If there are two definite winners, two definitely look better than any of the others, then we transfer those two that day. If on day 3 more than two of the embryos look good and they can't chose between which looks better then they let them develop for two more days. On day 5 they take the best looking two and transfer those. So even if we find out tomorrow that we definitely are retrieving on Friday I still won't know if the transfer will be on Monday or Wednesday next week. So Monday morning I will have to be "on call". They said they will call by 8:30 and let me know how the embryos look and if I need to drive out. If they decide on Monday on a 3 day transfer then we have to pick up and drive 3 hours that day. If they decide to do a 5 day then we will have a scheduled time to drive up on Wednesday. This means my husband has to be flexible with his days off next week since we don't know what days he actually needs off. I have to have him there though because after the transfer I will be on bed rest and need a travel companion. My dad is driving here tomorrow to spend some time with me and the kids, get one more theme park day in, and then will take the kids home with him on Sunday. They will stay with my parents next week so that I will be free to be on bedrest and travel unencumbered. Unfortunately for him, my mom goes back to work as a teacher on Monday so he will be watching the kids everyday by himself, something he has never done before. This might sound like I am complaining but I don't want it to come off that way. It is just part of the process. If you aren't willing to wait and be patient then this is not for you. I embrace the things I can't change. I want everything to goes as perfectly. I hope we are successful on our first try. To give us the best chance at success the doctors look for optimal conditions. So if that means waiting then so be it. I would rather things be right then rushed. Having said that, I still hope we find out for 100% sure that the retrieval is Friday. I am ready to get started helping my IPs have their baby.