A first for me (and my dad)

So I've been doing the progesterone shots everyday, super easy, but Pete always does them for me. Well, I had to go to nc to get the kids and Pete is working so I knew I would have to do at least one day maybe two days of shots by myself. 

This morning I got all iced up as usual but when I tried to do the shot I could turn enough to get a good angle (and I was freaked out!). I decided the other side would be easier even though I had done that side yesterday. So, stalling as long as I could and calling my husband to get moral support, I iced the other side. 

After a deep breath I just did it, the needle went right in super easy. I am so proud of myself. But after the needle went in I tried to push the plunger and couldn't get it to move. After a couple of tries I reluctantly yelled for my dad. So I'm in the bathroom with a needle sticking out of my butt and he comes in. I  positively sure he has never done anything related to giving a shot. But he came in and helped me. I know that was weird for him but thankful he was there to help. 

So it was a first for both of us. 

I love my IPs

We got to the hotel and our room is huge and they were so thoughtful, they left me a gift basket and a very sweet note. That was unexpected and very sweet. 

Transfer done

So we are finished with the transfer. It's a really simple procedure and totally painless. The hardest part is the nurse pushing down on your bladder with the ultrasound. I had to pee SOOOOO bad, it was almost unbearable. But it takes such a short time to do the transfer I was able to manage. So we transferred to beautiful perfect embryos. I'm hoping that at least one of them finds a comfortable spot and decides to hang around with me for the next 9 months. 

So now off to the hotel to rest and let these guys settle in. All prayers and positive thoughts are appreciated. I'll find out in two weeks whether they decided to stick around and let me take care of them. 

PS- the Valium has not really kicked in yet but starting to feel a little dizzy/loopy. Not nearly as altering as I thought it would be. 

Transfer day!!

So today is the day of our transfer. Pete and I got up this morning and left at 7:30 to drive to the clinic, which is 3 hours away. My instructions are to arrive with a full bladder. This was the same instructions I had last time. Last time I thought I did a good job but when I got there they said it wasn't full enough. They wanted me with a sense of urgency, at the point of distress!  So being on a long drive this is really all about timing. I know I have 20 mins till we get there so I'm trying to estimate how much to drink to be in distress when I get there but not past the point where I can't make it:). Just another of the joys in the process of surrogacy!

I am also supposed to take 3 Valium at 10:30 which is only a couple of mins from now. I have never taken Valium before so I  kind of nervousr for how "out of it" I will be. 

All that being said I am super excited our big day is finally here. We are actually doing this!  It's almost unreal. 

I will post an update later today to tell you how everything went. 

Wish us luck!!!

Better Right than Rushed

Better right than rushed, that has been been my motto for the past couple of weeks. Since my lining check my IM went on meds to get ready for egg retrieval. Everything since then has been a estimate. This is the process and what we signed up for but can still be frustrating. They first told her retrieval would be sometime Monday thru Thursday. She had to drive everyday to keep checking to see how things were progressing. As time went on we were told more like Wed or Thu, then Thu to Saturday, then most likely Friday to finally it definitely happened on Saturday. Again, better right than rushed. She did great, they were able to retrieve 11 eggs. Once we found out for sure that retrieval was going to be on Saturday then I knew for sure when my meds would change. So meds changing was a big source of anxiousness for me. The day before she did retrieval I was to stop Lupron (those nice small needles that were just subdermal in my arm or stomach that you can barely feel) and I was to start Progesterone (the 1 1/2 inch needle that is intramuscular and you are supposed to "jab in a dart like motion all the way into the muscle). Yeah, when I got those needles in the mail it made me freak out a little. OK, a lot! So I do what I always do when I am encountering something new, I ask others for their experiences. I found from my surro community that the general consensus is not that bad. They even said they preferred the shot to the alternative option of the suppository. This all made me feel better but since I got the meds a couple of weeks before I actually started I had all that time to obsess over the needles and what it was going to be like. I was thinking about it every night before I went to bed and just working myself up. Since the shots are done in the morning, the night before I was supposed to start I could not sleep. I just kept thinking about the shot the next morning and how I was going to have to potentially do this everyday for the next 12 weeks. So I went on youtube. The video from the pharmacy was very clinical and didn't really give you a real life view of the experience. Plus the instructions that said "jab in a dart like motion" really freaked me out. Youtube is what really made everything better. I watched video after video that others have posted in my exact situation of getting their first progesterone shot. What all of the ladies I saw said was that it was not so bad. I got to see exactly how their husbands or significant others did to prepare, how they did the injection, and their true reaction to the shot. I got some good pointers too. So after seeing the videos I was able to sleep. The next morning I got up, put and ice pack on my upper butt muscle and put the progesterone vial in my bra. The ice numbs the area while the vial warms the medicine. Since it is in oil it can be thick and goes in slowly so warming it up thins the liquid. Once I had these complete I woke up my husband and showed him a couple of the videos that I thought were most helpful. I think it was good for him to see other husbands and their technique. I then got the shot ready and laid on the bed (another pointer I found, it takes the weight off the muscle so you aren't flexing). I took a video of my experience with the shot too, I just haven't found out how to transfer it from my phone to the computer. Pete asked if I was ready and then put the needle in. I barely felt it!!! It went so much better than I thought. I was expecting the needle to meet more resistance to the muscle or more pain since the needle goes in deeper but it was not bad at all! The worst part was the psychological part. Now, four shots later, I am not nervous at all. It is a pain doing all the prep work in the morning preparing for the shot but none of the 4 shots have hurt at all so far. My husband hates it, he hates needles and is not excited about giving shots whatsoever. I made him stop giving Lupron because it was easier for me to do it myself. The angle of these shots makes it hard for me to do myself so I am so glad that he is doing so well with it. Back to the transfer. With my IM doing retrieval on Saturday that put a 3 day transfer today, Tuesday, or a 5 day transfer on Thursday. Well, you can't really plan because you just won't know until day of if the embryos are ready. So my parents took my kids home to NC with them so that I would be free to travel either day. I got the call this morning at 8:15 that they are pushing it to Thursday. I was really ready for today to be the big day. I was very excited and ready for the transfer but that brings me back to the motto, better right than rushed. I truly hope that we get pregnant on the first try so I want the embryos to be at the healthiest best stage possible for the transfer. So even though I was ready for today if chances are better for the embryo to survive the transfer on Thursday then Thursday it is!! So now, Yay for Thursday!!!

The anticipation is terrible

So we have reached the week of the transfer, what we have been waiting for for so long now but it is not quite here yet. I am a naturally very schedule oriented person. I like to plan my days and I like to stick to a schedule. Unfortunately, scheduling the transfer is out of my hands. Not knowing when this event will happen is driving my plan making mind crazy. It is the nature of the procedure though and I must accept it and make peace with it. Right now I feel like there is a big holiday coming but it is a surprise as to when it might be. We are doing a fresh transfer. With gestational surrogacy there are typically two types of transfers, a fresh or a frozen. With a frozen cycle the eggs have already been retrieved and fertilized and the embryos were then frozen. They then thaw them out and transfer them to the surrogate. With that type of transfer you can plan ahead. We, however, are doing a fresh transfer meaning that my IM and I had to sync our cycles, I had to build the lining of my uterus and prepare my body while at the same time she prepares her body for retrieving eggs. As you can imagine, this takes more flexibility. Once it was determined my body was ready to start estrogen then she started her meds. Now we were given a week window in which they thought her body would be ready for retrieval. Then I had an ultrasound done to see if the estrogen had worked (it had and I am ready to go) and in the meantime she is having to take daily trips to the clinic to see if she is ready for retrieval. We were told last week that it should be sometime Monday to Friday. Over the weekend it looked like Wednesday or Thursday. Then it looked like Friday or Saturday. Today they are saying 90% sure for Friday. So we are both hoping that Friday will be the day. The uncertainty doesn't end there though. Once the embryo is made we would have either a 3 or 5 day transfer. This means that they combine the egg and sperm and after 3 days they look at the possible embryos. If there are two definite winners, two definitely look better than any of the others, then we transfer those two that day. If on day 3 more than two of the embryos look good and they can't chose between which looks better then they let them develop for two more days. On day 5 they take the best looking two and transfer those. So even if we find out tomorrow that we definitely are retrieving on Friday I still won't know if the transfer will be on Monday or Wednesday next week. So Monday morning I will have to be "on call". They said they will call by 8:30 and let me know how the embryos look and if I need to drive out. If they decide on Monday on a 3 day transfer then we have to pick up and drive 3 hours that day. If they decide to do a 5 day then we will have a scheduled time to drive up on Wednesday. This means my husband has to be flexible with his days off next week since we don't know what days he actually needs off. I have to have him there though because after the transfer I will be on bed rest and need a travel companion. My dad is driving here tomorrow to spend some time with me and the kids, get one more theme park day in, and then will take the kids home with him on Sunday. They will stay with my parents next week so that I will be free to be on bedrest and travel unencumbered. Unfortunately for him, my mom goes back to work as a teacher on Monday so he will be watching the kids everyday by himself, something he has never done before. This might sound like I am complaining but I don't want it to come off that way. It is just part of the process. If you aren't willing to wait and be patient then this is not for you. I embrace the things I can't change. I want everything to goes as perfectly. I hope we are successful on our first try. To give us the best chance at success the doctors look for optimal conditions. So if that means waiting then so be it. I would rather things be right then rushed. Having said that, I still hope we find out for 100% sure that the retrieval is Friday. I am ready to get started helping my IPs have their baby.